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- Q: Why did the right-winger shoot his alarm-clock and coffee-maker?
- A: They were too woke.
- Q: Why did the right-winger refuse to get out of bed?
- A: He didn't want to join the woke crowd.
- Q: Why did the Republican keep driving off the road?
- A: He was afraid people might think he was too far to the left.
- Q: Why do Republicans always vote against their own interests?
- A: They don't want to be "politically correct".
- Q: Why did the conservoid set fire to the Constitution?
- A: It was talking about forming a union.
might need workshopping
- Q: Why was the Trump fan looking for the Returns Desk at the Capitol?
- A: She wasn't happy with the election, and was trying to take it back.
- Q: Why did the conservoid always carry around a giant "weights and measures" reference book?
- A: To keep an eye on it -- because everyone knows you can't trust the mass media.